This week’s blown more chunks then any week in recent memory, and goddamnit that sucks. I know good/bad days/weeks/months or whatever come and go like the tide, but I fucking hate it when I’m at the bottom of that wave waiting for some nice wave to come by and pick me up again.

Cause it seems like I keep paddling out to waves that appear to be nice ones, but then when I get closer I see they were just either little piddly waves, or not even waves at all. You can’t believe how fucking frustrating that is.

I want that big wave that’ll come by and make me forget about all the shit days to come around now. Fuck waiting for it, I’ve already had enough shit-days recently that my time is due. Hell even those ‘good’ days that happened somewhat recently weren’t that good in retrospect, I think I was so looking for something to be good, I made it better then it really was in my head.

As for everything else relating to people I basically feel like this lyric.

You could slit my throat
and with my one last gasping breath I’d apologize for bleeding on your shirt.
It’s pathetic.

Mainly because I’m a fucking sucker for anyone who I’ve ever felt anything for be it friend/girlfriend, or other, and even though I continualy seeing them not give me the time of day, or keep whatever minor promises they made to me, I always seem to go out of my way for them. It’s pathetic.

Maybe I am? Or maybe I need to suck it up and stop doing that shit, but I don’t think I have because then I wouldnt’ have any friends or anyone to talk to.

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 15th, 2002 at 1:49 am and is filed under . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.