I read Sara’s post on the fact that last weekend was to be our anniversary and I realized something. I can’t write, and really haven’t, written emotinal entries like that. In the past [during my re-telling of the Erin saga] it was more a stating of fact and whatnot, but no sort of longing emotional type thing. Which is weird to me, but not too weird, because as I’ve seen a lot during my life at times when I should be filled with emotion to the point of crying/shutting down, I don’t. I simply don’t feel anything and continue doing whatever I was doing.

Like I remember when my uncle died a few months back. At the funeral parlor everyone was crying and sad etc, but I didn’t. I think I might’ve cried once, but not to the extent everyone else did. But I don’t know why, I don’t think it’s “weak” to cry or anything silly like that. I guess in his case I didn’t really cry because I knew it wasn’t what he wanted. He would’ve wanted to give me shit about something, and if I did cry he would give me shit for crying. I remember thinking that I probably should be crying like everyone else, but I just couldn’t, and it made me feel somewhat sad.

Here I thought I couldn’t write some sort of emotinal entry, but yet I’m pretty sure this entry has turned into an emotional one.

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