Dear Arsenal,

Could you please put at least 3 or 4 past Chelsea this evening? Oh and while you’re doing that, please make sure they don’t score more than us. Because frankly I’d just love it if you could beat those Chelski scum and shut them up about their being “the best team in the world” bullshit. It’s getting old really fucking quick, and no you can’t get any sort of ‘best team in the world’ bullshit until you either win the Champions League and/or go an entire season undefeated.

Thanks,
me

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